Grrr...

Do you ever have one of those days? You know, the kind where it feels like nothing is really going the way you want it to? Where you feel unproductive, lazy, and overall just kind of bad about yourself? And let me ask you this, when you have that kind of day, what is your reaction against yourself? Do you tell yourself that you're stupid? Or lazy and worthless? Or do you look in the mirror and think about how fat you are?
I am having one of those days today. But I am going to fight against it. Because my lack of accomplishment in one day does not mean that I am less of a person! Not going to the gym for one day does not make me fat! It's always my first instinct to take out my aggravation or disappointment on myself, and for what? Is deciding that I am really a lazy, stupid, overweight person going to help me feel any better about my day? The answer is obvious.
But the real question here is why? Why do we insist on blaming our character or our intelligence or our bodies for the valleys in the roller coasters that are our lives? What does my body have to do with my bad day? Nothing! Absolutely nothing! We wage war on ourselves for the smallest flaws in our lives. Why? Because it's something we can control? Maybe.
Think about this. Would you ever treat someone else the way you treat yourself? Would you ever tell your friend that her bad day happened because she is too fat or lazy? I hope not. (And if you would, that's a whole other issue to work on!) But if you would never dream of saying something like that to someone else, why is it okay to speak so viciously, so cruelly to yourself? I for one can't come up with a reason.
Someone very wise once told me to imagine myself as I was when I was three or four years old. A little girl, all smiles and chubby cheeks and songs. They asked me to imagine someone coming up to that three or four year old girl, grabbing her belly fat, and telling her that she would never be anything worthwhile, that she was dumb and fat and ugly, and that she had better get her life together because she hadn't accomplished anything. Can you imagine that? It kind of makes me want to cry. But this is the way we talk to ourselves everyday! How is that okay?
I'm not saying it's an easy pattern to break. I know personally just how hard it is to give yourself a break, or to even just say something nice about yourself. But we have to try! In the end, we are the only person that we will have, 100% throughout our entire life. Our relationship with ourselves is probably the most important relationship we will ever have, and look at how abusive it can be! Would we tolerate this kind of treatment from a boyfriend or girlfriend? I sincerely hope not.
So, let's work on it! Let's make a concerted effort to see ourselves through the eyes of someone else, and before we attack ourselves for not being perfect, let's imagine ourselves as the child we all once were. Maybe we'll think twice before we condemn ourselves for not getting to the gym, or for not studying enough.
What do you think? Comment and let me know how it's going for you.
Good luck, and rock on!
Till next time,
Steph